


Roses

by curiouscrush



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Logan is learning emotions again, Logince - Freeform, M/M, Patton is trying to take care of them, Roman is trying his best, logan and virgil are half-brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouscrush/pseuds/curiouscrush
Summary: It's like once you've been hurt, you're so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart.





	Roses

Prologue based off a true story  
❦

A young Logan, around the age of 4, watched as his father moved his boxes into the back of his car. Walking up and down the worn down path, his eyes stuck to the ground. His dad would stop and stare at the house, a sigh escaping his lips, appearing in the December air.

Logan hopped off the couch and dashed to his room. The boxes could only mean one thing. They were moving! A sense of adventure filled his soul as he grabbed his toys, shoving them into the boxes his dad didn't use. He moved quickly to ensure his father didn't leave him behind. That would be a problem.

He grabbed the first box, quickly running down the hall to the front door. He carefully leaned against the car, placing his box on the car seat. His dad watched him from the door as he placed the last box in the trunk, a sad smile on his face.

Logan climbed onto the seat, placing his small unicorn stuffed animal beside him. He watched his dad walk to him, wrapping his arms around his small waist. He slowly lifted him out of the car, placing him onto the yard.

"No, kiddo, I'm going-

He grabbed the stuffed animal from its spot, kneeling down to give it to Logan,

You're staying."

Logan grabbed the stuffed animal, a confused look on his face. He looked back at his mom and sister, who were watching them from the porch. His sister quietly made her way to them, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around their dad, softly whispering something to him. She then turned to Logan, grabbing his empty hand as their dad lowered his belongings from the car.

Now he was even more confused. Were they not moving? Why was his dad leaving? Why was he leaving them here? Why were his mom and sister crying? They were going to see him again, right?

His sister led him back to the porch, their mom walking down the driveway. She didn't look his dad in the eyes, she just spoke in a monotone voice. He nodded, slowly climbing into the car. Logan felt his sister hold his hand even tighter, she slowly sank down to her knees as the car slowly drove down. His dad opened the car window, waving at them. And then he was gone.

His mother made her way back to the house, walking inside, the metal door slamming behind her. Logan pulled away from his sister's grip, quickly running to his stuff on the yard. His dad's car zoomed away as Logan tried to wave to him, one last time. His sister grabbed all of his stuff, moving it inside. Proceeding to until all his boxes were cleared.

Logan gripped tightly onto his stuffed unicorn, watching each car pass by. He was going to wait for his dad to come back. Because he was coming back. He had to come back. He had to.

But he didn't.

❦

"Logan goddamit! You're doing it all wrong!" His mom yelled at him, her face turning a bright red. She clenched her hands, her once soft brown eyes, hard and cold. That's all he's used to seeing now. His mom stopped treating him like a son a long time ago. He was just a burden now.

"Sorry.." He mumbled quietly, all he wanted to do was be some sort of help. His sister had gone off to college a long time ago so it was just mom and him. He just wasn't right for the job, his sister was perfect. She always did everything right. So, he was 8, he needed to grow up. He's been trying.

"You know, I bet this is why your father left." She snapped, pushing Logan harshly out of the room. She slammed the door, the only light being cut off. He just stood in darkness. He knew now what had happened and his mom made sure he knew well it was his fault. He pulled at his shirt, sitting down in the dark room. He didn't have much to do anymore. There was no point in doing anything if his mom didn't love him. She told him that once. Well more than once.

She told him she didn't love him anymore. He ripped apart her marriage she would say. He made his dad run off. 8-year-old Logan believed every word.

❦

He was 13 now. He had the best grades in school. It was the only thing he got right. His aunts, uncles, and cousins congratulated him. His mother did too when his family was around. Every time their family came around she was a whole different person. She treated him like a prince, like a precious diamond. But when they left he was coal once again. He didn't dare tell anyone what was happening. He was scared. He's still scared.

One day when his family had left, his mother was picking up the dishes. She made him stay in the room until she finished.

"Your father told me he has a son" She whispered, the words almost unintelligible, "He's just a year younger than you."

At the mention of a son, he looked up. His dad really did replace them. Not even a year gone with his wife, already with a son. He bet his dad treats his son like he was everything in life. Which he did.

"He doesn't care about you anymore. He never did. This is his replacement. That child is your replacement." She hissed, making sure every word jabbed at his already broken heart. He could feel the petals falling from the poor rose, more thorns adoring the frail stem.

"He replaced you too. He has a wife." Logan spoke up for the first time and it felt right. Maybe he was being mean, but he didn't care. She never cared about him, so why should he?

"Logan! You do not speak to me that way! I am your mother!" She turned to him, glaring daggers into his body.

"You don't act like a mother!"

"I raised you!"

"Hardly! I've been working my butt off and trying to live! You haven't noticed my accomplishments! You don't talk to me! You don't notice me! Maybe that's why Dad left because-"

"Go to your room! Go to your room this instant!" She screamed, practically breaking his eardrums. The confidence he had crumbled. He felt a lump grow in his throat. No, no he wasn't going to cry in front of her. Don't show weakness. Show no emotion. Show no emotions and just go to your room.

So he did. He went to his room. And showed no more emotion.

❦

Logan was 17 now, a senior in high school. Lots of stuff had changed. His sister visits a lot, she has a charming boyfriend now. His mother loves him. Every time he comes over she treats him like a son. She treats him better than he's ever done to Logan. But he didn't care anymore, all that really mattered to him was school and his grades. He thought his mom would notice him if he excelled at school. But it didn't change anything. He was still dirt to her.

Logan had a boyfriend now, guess how she reacted? She yelled at Logan for hours. She had no problem with the same sex dating until her own son turned out to be gay. Now she doesn't care, she loves his boyfriend. It's the only time they ever talk. The only time they get along. The only time they ever felt like a true family.

Logan loved him, he loved him back. His family loved him. They've been dating since the first year of high school. Four years with one another, they planned everything. Logan never felt so in love and ready. His family always talked about him getting married, a fact not a question.

They both talked about going to the same college. Where they would live, the wedding, if they wanted to get dogs, if they wanted kids. They planned their future and it all seemed perfect.

Now Logan and him are about to start college. The adrenaline pumping through his veins, he wanted to get away. Away from his mom, away from his home. He wanted to leave forever and never come back. To stay in his arms forever and ever-

"Logan, I need to talk to you." He sat up from the bed, walking over to his desk. Logan watched him, sitting up as well.

"Yes? What's wrong?" His boyfriend sighed, running a hand through his brown curls.

"I can't do this anymore. I know we've been dating for a while, but- I don't like the thought of my life being laid out before me." He looked up at Logan, his hazel eyes filled with sorrow.

"W-what?" Logan didn't want to believe what he was hearing. This wasn't happening.

"Logan, I'm breaking up with you. I'm sorry." He stood up and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He looked at Logan from over his shoulder before leaving the room.

Logan sat there, numb and confused. He wasn't numb for long as every emotion clawed at his insides. His heart beating against his ribcage, trying to escape the fragile prison. He opened his mouth, a choked sob the only noise he could conjure.

He cried and sobbed for minutes which turned to hours which turned to days which turned to weeks until he couldn't cry any longer. Until he couldn't feel any longer. Now, now he was truly numb.

❦

Logan pulled his packed bags rolling them up to the college. The grand building reaching high into the clouds. Students walked and chatted amongst themselves. Everyone was paired up with someone, Logan wasn't. He knew no one here. His family was across the country. He didn't care about his family anymore. It was just him and his studies. That was all he was here for.

He couldn't handle getting hurt again. He cut off all emotions, bottling them deep inside. All his petals had wilted and fallen, the pretty pink losing its touch. The thorns had grown larger and stronger, practically engulfing the flower whole. Well, whatever was left of the flower. There was no beauty left, only pain.

No one could change that, he thought as he made his way to the large door. He had died a long time ago, the only thing left is the small scraps of love and purity. But no one could fix them and nurse them back to health. No one.

❦

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This will probably be the only authors note I will write for this story so the flow isn't disrupted. If you clicked on this from finding it here on archive, welcome! I've been actively writing since 2015 and have finally made an account on here! If you're a long time reader, then you have probably read this before. I will try to upload as much as I can for this and finish sometime in the next few months. Thank you!
> 
> Edit: I've made a Twitter for this archive under the same user! follow curiouscrush on Twitter!


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